1. Not friendly or forthcoming; cool and distant.
2. Conspicuosly uninvolved and uninterested, typically through distaste.
remote - distant.
It happens every so often to me. Not as much in the past five years but at any given point I become aloof towards an aspect to my life. It can go both ways. It can be for the better or for the worse. When new beginnings occur during these periods, it generally means that it is the painful end of another.
This has happened as of late. Thankfully not to this blog.
It's been a while since I've sat down to write, I have several posts started but never completed. Some things will not always be published.
I needed to stop and re-assess areas of my life. How I distributed my time with friends and family, focus on areas of my work, recovering and literally learning to sleep more. Give more of my undivided attention to my children, speak more with my husband who I love and adore, see my friends more - enjoy life outside the four walls we live within. Be present more - and as much as that sounds a little fuddy duddy - what I gained from this time over the past month has been more enriching than what I have been doing over the past six months as a whole.
So what's been happening?
Back in August - My son turned one. And in true form - we held a big soiree with all our close friends and family. I love seeing kids let lose and go crazy - there was lots of food, a clown and laughter. Those are the best of days.
My best friend turned another year - we headed to the very chic Felix Bistro in the city. We drank fancy wine, ordered lots of food and enjoyed a dance at a nightclub! To say I was feeling fragile is one big understatement. I felt terrible the next morning at breakfast - whilst my other friends (who can drink like fishes) chatted happily amongst themselves. I am officially a reformed party girl who can no longer drink.
It's during this very time that a falling out with a friend happened. I think that has been the most challenging part of becoming a mother at my age. Realising and seeing your friends remove themselves from your situation - no matter how strong the bond - your circle of friends immediately shrink if you're not on the same page. You drift and whilst I immediately want to pick up the phone - perhaps some time is needed. Focus my energy on the relationships I do have rather than chasing the ones I don't. I hope time heals and we can restore the friendship.
My husband and I went on a date! In a move no one saw coming - I booked tickets organised a baby sitter and my husband and I went out and fancied each other again. Chatted little about the kids and laughed about things. The nights you have with the least expectations always turn out to be the best of nights. Although I did take him to see a contemporary dance piece called "In the mind of Igor" which was playing at the Opera House. My husband did not understand one bit and asked if I could take a friend next time to these sorts of things. I couldn't help but laugh. So our next date - I will be subjected to the worst kind of Hollywood film, out - and I will enjoy every minute of that film my husband chooses. Because I love him.
I spent time with my kids. We head out more often; the park, the beach, friends houses. I do my best to be active with them - let them know just how much I love them with my complete and undivided attention and time. Not an easy feat when you are trying to micro-manage every aspect of your life. The TV has been off more and I listen now to all their beautiful laughs, cries and words. I never cease to be fascinated by them. My eldest talks more and when I tell him that I love him, he responds with "I love juice" - so I rank somewhere below juice, and I'm ok with that.
I think the biggest change I've made - is my approach to my health. I recently participated in a BioAssesment in which the results uncovered many grey areas in my life that I need to work on. Whilst the overall assesment told me I was five years younger - I know I don't act with the same vitality of a 21yr old. But I most certainly can.
So with simple approaches to the way I eat, switch off when I get home at night and challenging the way I think. My long days are becoming easier to handle, my moods are better and I'm generally feeling happy. And not in the sense with I chase the big picture of happiness which I was attaching to materialistic things like the want for a better house, car etc - but in the simple things that have existed in my daily life, the whole time - I just never chose to stop and notice it. And I can tell you - I'm feeling great.
Eating better, reading, being with friends, listening to music, exercising and get outside and connecting more with the land can make for a better day, week, month and life.
Whilst the word Aloof can have a negative connotation attached to it, this aspect that pops into in my life, has actually been one with a positive outcome.
So whilst I've been busy being aloof - what have you all been up to? I've still been here - logging on and reading all your hilarious and thought provoking posts. Always enriching and I hope to be back here more.
Linking up with With Some Grace. It's been a while.