I don't always have the answers. Sure I'm a loving mother and by default one assumes that I play, feed and bathe my kids and make sure they're always protected. But there are times Eddy comes home after a long day at work, to two crying kids and one crying adult woman.
I get confused and my thoughts become a haze in the midst of lack of sleep, anxiety and the need to get ready and out to work. Mix two kids, two and under and you have yourself a 'crying choir'.
I've returned back to work in the evenings. I leave at 3 or 4 pm, leaving Ed to survive the final hours of the day by playing, cooking and feeding the boys their dinner, bathing them, reading them books before bed, gives them their milk and puts them to bed. All by himself, five nights a week. Mind you, he wakes up at 5am and starts work 6am. It's a long day.
I solo parent on the weekends - I know how hard those evenings are.
Before all of this, I used to think that Ed would not be able to cope with me away from home. That he would be clueless and my phone would be buzzing from non-stop texts and phone calls about what to do.
After the first week back at work, my phone was silent. And after a month, Ed started to tell me what the 'new' routine was at night - and I had to stop, respect, listen and embrace the new change.
What surprises me even more is seeing the changes in my kids. The new things they learn from dad and the way they are excited to see him when he comes home; running to get the first hug from him and even greeted with a fist pump and cheer.
I feel a tad bit jealous when he comes home. But it's a good type of jealous.
And why is it that he can at times engage with them better than I do? Calm their tantrums?
It makes me incredibly relieved that somehow a bit of weight has been lifted from me. That I can rely on Ed to make decisions and not have to make 'all' of them. That I can leave home to go to work and say goodbye to them without my boys crying and anxious in seeing me leave. That I can ask for a break and Ed will understand why, because he's walked in my shoes and solo-parents too - even if it is for a few hours.
Somehow sharing the responsibility in both areas has allowed us to appreciate each other more, resent less and work better together as parents.
Besides all that - he somehow managed to make my kids eat broccolli. Something I could never do.
|Me witnessing my eldest, a.k.a "master fussy boots" eat broccoli for the first time.|
|Me shocked and clearly impressed. "DID HE JUST EAT FARKEN BROCCOLI?"|
Anyone can be a father. A father can hand down his name to his son. But I've been privy to witness what it takes to become a "daddy". And sometimes he can also be the better parent.
Do you feel the same way too?